A brunette goes to the doctor, and says to him "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body." "That's odd" replied the doctor "Show me what you mean" So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on. The doctor says to her "Your not a natural brunette are you?" "No I'm a blonde" she replies. "I thought so.... your finger is broken." replies the doctor.
A blonde, brunette and a red head are all at the pearly gates waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter's says to them to get nito heaven you have to climb these stairs and listen to 100 of Gods jokes without laughing. if you dont laugh you make it to heaven.
The brunette went first. She got to the 26th stair and burst out laughing.
Next went the red head she got to the 47th stair fell over in tears of laughter
The blonde went last. she made it all the way to the top of the stiars, not even the sign of a smile. when she was at the top she burst out laughing.
God said to her " why are you laughing now?"
and the blonde said" because i only just got the first one!"
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."
The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."
The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him.
He takes off his shirt and the blonde says,"What a great chest you have."The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite, baby."He takes off his pants and the blonde says,"What massive calves you have."The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite, baby."
He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamitewith such a short fuse."
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"To which she replied, "There certainly is!"My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's because the picture shows his profile."Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds "... think hard before giving me a stupid answer."The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not."Well, that's an interesting answer... wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face."Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?""That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
